


Contemplations

by Basttop



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M, Short One Shot, Suicidal Thoughts, reaching out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 01:28:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10606458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Basttop/pseuds/Basttop
Summary: I know this isn't an explicit story about josh and tyler. But it is inspired by their songs I guess? I don't know if it is any good but I just wanted to share it. Let me know what you think?





	

The place was idyllic. The waves rolling in on the beach. The sun setting en turning the sky into purple, orange en red.  
"Have you ever thought about suicide, killing yourself?"  
It costed me all of my courage to ask this question.    
"Has not everybody?" He answered.  
I contemplated that thought as i dug my feet deeper in the sand.   
"Really? Do you really think everybody has thought about killing themselfs?"   
"Well, maybe not everybody, but I think everyone has at least one moment in their lives where they kind of don't want to live anymore."

He looked my way, the colours of the sunset made his face just even more beautiful.   
"But there's a difference you know, between not wanting to live and wanting to kill yourself."  
"I guess there is. I mean, I often have this thought about not wanting to exist. I don't want to live but I don't want to die either. I just wished I never existed, like I was never born."   
   
I was wondering if he knew what the purpose of my question was. He couldn't know, not even I knew the answer to that. Maybe it just was curiosity, maybe it was something else.  
"I sometimes get mad at my parents. They decided that they wanted children, so there's me. I didn't choose this life. I didn't choose to be alive. They chose for me. And it hasn't been the most fun life. Would they chose a life for me if they knew what it would be like. Like if you could see what the life of your child would be. The horrible things they have to go through. Would you choose a life for them?"

He took a moment before he answered, thinking about what I said.   
"But look, the life of a human is not only the horrible things they go through. Would you choose a life for your child if you knew all the beautiful things they are going to see, going to experience. Would you want to hold that from them. Or what about the love they will experience, or can give to other people."  
"But does all the good things in life weigh up to the bad things that will happen? And who are we to decide, we won't ever know what the lifes of other people will be like."  
"We can't decide that. Because we won't know what will happen in someone's life. We can't predict the future." He is quiet for a while. "Does these thoughts mean you don't ever want to have children on your own?"   
I sighed. I guess he didn't know what the purpose of my first question was. Because eventhough I didn't know for sure, I knew this wasn't why I asked him this.  
"I really don't know. But that's not even the issue here. I don't even know if I want to be on this earth, there is no way I'm thinking about having children." 

This was it. This was the reason why I asked that question. It was a desperate attempt at getting help. Trying to stop these thoughts from turning into actions.   
"Yeah... I kind of knew that. And it scares me babe.  It scares me because one day you not only think about it. But you will act on these thoughts and I'm so lost. I don't know what to  do. I don't know how to help you."

**Author's Note:**

> I know this isn't an explicit story about josh and tyler. But it is inspired by their songs I guess? I don't know if it is any good but I just wanted to share it. Let me know what you think?


End file.
